Monday, December 28, 2009

I can't get warm. I keep going out for a smoke and end up shivering for an hour.
I'm typing in my sweater, winter coat, and massive slippers, and I keep making typos because I'm shivering.

Things are getting more complicated, but easier. Once you give up control, it all falls into the same plane of Shit You Can't Do Anything About. I'm kind of enjoying it. It burns, but only now and then.
I'm getting stronger on most fronts but weaker on some. I'm not protecting myself very well these days. I'm letting things in. I'm letting them twist and tear and sit for awhile. I need to stop.

The snow is beautiful. RR and I went for an adventure today and spent hours crunching through drifts in silence. I miss that. Just...spending time in silence. Someone there to keep you from falling too far, but you're left to your own devices. Mulling, ruminating, reflecting...I've gotten too much of that lately, but it never stops. Once you start on a subject it gets all salty and swollen and you can't stop chewing at it. And there are so many things to start on.

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